Someone Owes Me $100
By Craig Berosh
phillypage2 columnist (2002)

Can’t Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb consider the average working/betting man when making their on-the-job decisions. I know, a ridiculous and taboo statement, but I’m just trying to place blame for my losing Birds’ bet yesterday.

Got to blame someone other than myself. I knew the risks. The Eagles suck on the road this year. Coming off an important Monday night win. Giving seven to a desperate team in shitty weather. But damn Birds, if you really want to make friends and influence fans cover the spread fellows.

Shit (sorry about the constant swearing through out this piece, but it will continue), I read the signs. When I say signs I don’t mean the irrelevant bull like the Bears have lost five in a row, had a gimpy quarterback and the Monsters’ defense is more like Mikey than Sulley this year, but rather the important trends like McNabb gave out 50 tickets to his Chi-town peeps and was going to put on a show. It seemed like an easy $90.90. I should explain that I live in Las Vegas and that’s the juice here. You can bet $110 to win $100, but I was a little short at the time.

TRYING TO HELP A BROTHER OUT

BRIAN MITCHELL: I got to admit, at the beginning of the season I was looking forward to someone replacing Mitchell on run backs. I couldn’t stop the visions of Brian Westbrook or Lito Sheppard (remember him) returning kicks, but once again Mitchell made all the correct decisions on a very sloppy field. Brian, I was wrong and I apologize for wanting to trade you in for a newer and faster model. I hope I remember this lesson when I get married.

DAVID AKERS: The guy is fucking money. I actually felt let down when he missed a 50-yarder on Monday night. His kickoffs are solid. His FGs are true and would like to take this time to say I love him.

THE REFEREES: Not that I’m complaining, but the Birds got both the calls and non-calls yesterday. Speaking of which, I yelled “FU Mooooose” when Daryl Johnston replayed McNabb’s TD run just to point out that Hank Fraley was holding Urelacher on the play. I also thought Johnston slurred Walter Payton when some fan held up a sign saying Payton was still No. 1, and Moose said (paraphrasing) “That sign should read in our hearts. Emmitt is the No. 1 rusher in NFL history now.” These things happen when fullbacks are allowed to be TV colormen. I thought the Birds got some good calls and spots on Monday night against the Giants, too. Last time I will mention it, just hard to get use to.

THE EAGLE DEFENSE: (of course): Just a few observations. Levon Kirkland is slow. Ike Reese, fucking Ike Reese, got a 15-yard penalty for talking smack. Hugh Douglas is one hard-working SOB. And lastly, and I hate to mention it but I couldn’t believe it when I saw it, my man Brian Dawkins missed a tackle. It was the one of the first plays of the game and he had Anthony Thomas at the line a scrimmage and MISSED the tackle. What also sucks about Dawkins is that he recently got fined $50,000, so he probably can’t “reimbursh” my $100.

The Bear Offense: It’s hard to criticize the Eagles’ offense (which I do later in this piece) after seeing the Chicago fans sit in that weather and watch their team’s shit offense. The Bears have to lead the league in average skill players (Giants a close second). Jim Miller, Anthony Thomas, Leon Johnson, Marty Booker, Dez White (reminds of the Eagles receiving combo of Charles Johnson and Torrance Small). I was really hoping Chris Chandler would take a few snaps, get his helmet knocked off so we could see one of the best comb-overs in the league.

HURTING A BROTHER’S BANK

ANDY REID: Third time this year the team has hit the road and looked shaky. I know, a team with this many veterans players should be able to police itself, but this game had let down written all over it and needed a smart coaching effort When your team has great field position all day, kicks four field goals inside 36 yards and the game is still not iced until the last drive, then the coach will get criticized. When Andy Pandy did go for it on fourth down in the fourth quarter, when I thought he should have kicked the field goal, he called a deep pitch to Duce. The other play that lost my bet, remember that is what this article is truly about, was an incomplete pass on third-and-short to Cecil Martin. C’mon. Quick rant. This offense worries me sometimes. Besids McNabb’s feet, the offense seems painfully slow to recognize and react. The Bears were blitzing all game. Did the Eagles move the pocket? Did the Eagles throw one fricking screen pass to Duce or Dorsey? One quick draw to that Westbrook? The good news was that Freddie Mitchell caught a pass (just one), then slipped down before getting a first down and the Eagles kicked another field goal which, again, didn’t help cover the spread. My simple advice to the Eagles play callers: when in the red zone, if you want to score a touchdown, through the ball in the fucking end zone. Didn’t we all learn that lesson in the Titans/Rams Super Bowl.

DONOVAN MCNABB: Why was McNabb holding the ball so long in the first half and taking those sacks which prevented the Eagles from cashing in on several Bear penalties. I love the guy, but he is one slow starter. And when he should had taken a sack at the end of the first half, he tosses that interception at midfield. Instead of the Eagles getting three at the end of the half, that El Tiante kicker skips one off the crossbar and over from 50 plus (see Dawkins try and spike it). Damn, that’s a negative six-point swing for the gambling ring. Exercising my right as a fan, I’m going to give McNabb some advice, not because I think I know more about his job than he does, but rather as a good friend. FIND CHAD LEWIS MORE OFTEN. He is also your good friend. Also don’t want to come down too hard on McNabb because he has all that money from the signing bonus and is the leading candidate to “refund” my lost wager.

BRIAN URLACHER: The guy’s good (that’s all). Also, Ex-Eagle linebacker Mike Caldwell played and I didn’t notice one thing he did.

SEAN LANDETA: Making Reid’s decisions to punt inside Bear’s territory even more frustrating, Landeta twice banged it right into the end zone. Shit, remember the coffin corner? Well, Landeta ought to being so advanced in years. Mr. Butterfingers also fumbled then tried to kick the ball while it was on the ground. I really am okay with Mr. Landeta, he just had a bad day I guess and is probably a nice guy.

Think he can lend me $100.