Craig Berosh PhillyPage2

Donovan McNabb has a serious problem no one is talking about. From what I witnessed on Monday night, the bounce just wasn’t there. I honestly don’t see the growth. McNabb’s progress seems to be receding. I’m talking about his hair, of course.

It’s simply not a good look -- a cross between Sideshow Bob and Dr. J circa 1974. Perhaps the constant helmet/hat/visor wearing has had a negative effect. As a 33-year-old man who doesn’t require haircuts as often as he used to, I can sympathize.

I noticed McNabb’s hair “recession” for the first time last year, but like his performance against Tampa Bay in the season’s opener, I figured he was just having a bad (hair) day. However, the situation seems to be getting even hairier this season. His “do” and decisions on MNF were certainly confusing and highly questionable. There seems to be no plan or coordination. Some of the hair wants to be wild, and I think the fans want to see that wild side. I believe McNabb is better, more dangerous, when he and his disheveled fro are on the loose in the opponent’s secondary. Maybe he should consider dreadlocks.

McNabb seems a little thin over the middle and up top, and it now appears his passes are mimicking his head. There doesn’t seem to be many passes, completed or even attempted, across the middle or deep down the field. I’m not sure about Todd Pinkston’s or Freddie Mitchell’s hair, but their bodies might be a little too Finesse (sorry, first and last shampoo reference) to go over the middle. The new tight end L.J. Smith should have a great head of hair being a young man with few worries and many follicles, but his nerves might be a problem, which can lead to hair loss if you’re not careful. By default, James Thrash is our deep-ball threat, but he seems pre-occupied with pointing to the heavens and thanking God for giving him the courage to shave his head.

Conversely, McNabb’s hair seems to be doing just fine on the sides and in short lengths, and he also seems perfectly capable of short completions to running backs in the flat or a few yards over the middle. But to be truly Head & Shoulders (I lied) above the rest, not only on his own Hair Club but also in the entire league, McNabb really needs to spread it around the head/field. Even McNabb’s protectors lost the battle at the hairline of scrimmage. When Eagles’ fans were giving it to McNabb and the offense, instead of “Booooooo,” I thought they should have been yelling “Moooooousse.”

Luckily, McNabb excels at football, where the combatants wear helmets and various headgears can limit the amount of on-air hair time. If he played basketball, which he did for a while at Syracuse, I would certainly suggest he ask for the Iverson at the barbershop. When all else fails, I say go with cornrows (to know when not to go with cornrows refer to Jerry Rice). Another option for McNabb is to adopt the style of Tiger Woods and keep it tight, the hat tighter and hide the widow’s peak. The good news for McNabb is that options abound. He is a young man with millions of dollars who can do just about anything with the right support, guidance and conditioner. For restoration inspiration, he can simply scout the hair-raising styles of current and former quarterbacks. For immediate results, he may choice the option of shaving up the sides and back sort of like Steve McNair of the Titans. McNair’s hair stands strong in the face of the rush and boldly looks down the field for the big play. He could also trim it up tight like Michael Vick for that slight speed advantage for the next time the Eagles have a first-and-goal at the 1-yard line. Ultimately, I envision McNabb copying the hairstyle of one the past hairless legends of the NFL, Warren Moon. Over the years, Moon allowed his hair to naturally take on its own path, a path that led to great downfield vision and baldness.