Mourning Wood
By Tony Romeo
phillypage2 columnist (11-26-2002)
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My grandfather’s reputation with women was legendary. So fittingly, even when he was on his deathbed, battling the last stages of terminal cancer, he was prone to erections. They amazed even him. Someone in the family joked that it was probably “rigor mortis.” We all thought that was funny, and even shared the joke with him which says a lot about my family, and the way we face adversity. Ever since I have held the metaphor of the “deathbed erection” sacred. Those impossible Herculean efforts that take place in the twilight of a day, a year, a career, or even a life, that summon amazing strength from places that just cannot be explained, but simply make others scratch their heads, and ponder.The Eagles pitched more then a few “deathbed erections” Monday night in San Fran, and that says a lot about the Eagles family and the way they face adversity. And no I don’t mean the defense, or the offensive line, they don’t qualify. They play like that because they are good. But how about the play of Brian Mitchell? If you have watched the Eagles at all this year, you see that while Mitchell is still a sure-handed return guy, that always will get you positive yardage, he is no longer fast enough to “break the long one.” But last night, in what is most assuredly his last year, he summoned a speed and quickness that we have not seen all year, and he might not see ever again. He did “break a long one.” But more impressive was the deep return after Koy went down. He showed an amazing speed burst that has not been in his repertoire since before he was an Eagle. B-Mitch is no doubt a tough player, and a team leader. (When Koy went down, amidst the emotion of the scene, Mitchell went right to AJ Feely. He pointed to his own head and simply said, “THINK, out there, PLAY SMART.) Feely did.
The gutsy play of Detmer goes without saying. I knew he would play just like that. Smart, within the system. But still, at that level, after languishing that long on the bench, that was an effort that had to make you scratch your head, and marvel. He’s only 29, but most likely, that is, and will forever be, Koy’s career game. After Koy went down, the poise that AJ Feely showed, was also remarkable. Feely is a youngster, and I hope his best days are in front of him, but on this day, in this year, in that game, that was a very nice job keeping that lead, playing smart, and pitching a save. When things like that happen to teams, it's HARD not to believe...(no pun inteded).
I think John Madden is in love with Hank Fraley. He talks about, “Big Hank Fraley” non-stop. Fraley this, BIG HANK, that...even showed jiggle slow-mos. I am not sure if he is married, but I am pretty sure he wouldn’t mind calling Big Hank his “honey bun” on at least some subconscious level, if not higher. (As Seinfeld says, "Not that there is anything wrong with that."). There is a rumor that someone prominent in football is coming. “out” this year. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if it was Madden? Hear him recapping his manlove via the tele-straiter?
(in Madden’s voice)
“See this Big Guy Here, he’s gonna reach around this other fella, that’s what they call the ole, reacharoun’ That area back there, see, they call that the GOOCH, or the TAINT, and the “ballgames” are really won and lost in that area…OH YEA AND SEE THERE,…that other guy, in the back there, see, they call him Good Old Timmy Teabag Johnson. See what Teabag is gonna do…”
It would be hilarious.
A TOUCH OF CLASS
(Certainly not that Madden piece above, but I digress…). Seriously Though, BIG UPS, to both the Eagles and 49ers touching show of class and respect in response to Koy’s injury. It was real, it was spontaneous, and it was genuine. Juxtaposed with Warren Sapp’s verbal assault of a man old enough to be his grandfather the day before, it was just enough to restore my faith in footballkind for one more week.
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